Cotswold Lavender

There’s a 75% chance that this does not appeal your demographic.

Not far from Broadway are the world-famous lavender fields, where they grow and process lavender. Lavender is a plant — a flower, I think, though not a very big one. And the fields of lavender are pretty to drive by and look at. What is kind of silly is charging you to visit. Not silly that the owners charge — they have every right to profit off their creation — but silly that there is demand enough to make a business out of it.

This is what it looks like up close.

My wife is a photographer, and she wanted to take some pretty pictures of the lavender, which she did. Some that she took of my daughter with a narrow depth of field were stunning. I’d post an example here, but last time I posted a picture of my daughter, she made me take it down. She’s 13, and sensitive about what I post about her on social media.

She also had no desire to be marched into the lavender fields to be shot with a camera. She is not the target demographic of this attraction, I reckon. Neither was my 10 year-old son. Nor me. I waited patiently outside the fields; no reason to pay from something I wouldn’t appreciate.

So if my family is anything to go by, only about 1 in 4 of you will like the lavender fields.

Since I feel like I am underselling the lavender fields, let me add some positive to this. It wasn't too expensive: £3.50 for adults and £2.50 for children under 15 (children under 5 are free — yay!). That may seem like a lot to go look at a bunch of lavender growing, but growing lavender is at least as exciting as grass, and it won’t waste your whole day like Warwick Castle.

A second positive is that there is also a gift shop where you can buy all things lavender. Ever wanted to eat lavender? They have jams infused with lavender, bread with lavender, lavender candy. You can buy pictures of lavender, lavender calendars, and, of course, potpourri, which I think is the only legitimate use for lavender.

Warwick Castle

A tourist trap.

As a commercial entity, it is neither English Heritage nor National Trust, so you will have to pay full price for your entry, plus £6 for parking (which (1) you only find out after you park there, and (2) the parking lot is a 15-to-20-minute walk from the castle). Depending on your level of entry and the age of your children, expect to pay around £100 for a family of 4.

No audio tour. This castle is not intended to educate you on the castle and its history, but rather to entertain you. Unfortunately, they come up short on the entertainment side. What you won’t learn on your visit to Warwick Castle is how it was built by William the Conqueror and was held by the powerful Earls of Warwick for several hundred years. The history is quite fascinating, so you should watch the documentary Secrets of Great British Castles on Netflix instead.

The hedge maze. Probably the worst one in the British Isles. The hedges are so low and sparse that it would be impossible to get lost in it. Not to mention that all paths converge anyway on some cheesy “educational” play areas. As with many touristy spots in June, the place is overrun with school groups, but even the kids in school were noticeably bored with the maze. Our ten year-old son was not entertained by it, though he was more diplomatic than I: “Enh, not the best.”

The dungeons. Cost an extra £9 per person, and totally not worth it. Really cheesy, not scary at all. Pretty much just caricatures of medieval stereotypes.  And, by the way, your £9 did not cover the pictures they try to sell you at the end for £20. Skip it. Your time is better spent walking back to the parking lot.

It wasn't all negative, however. Several rooms have been decorated or furnished, and the arms and armor collection is quite good.

Arms and armor display at Warwick Castle. The Tower of London's is better, though.

The best part of our visit was the longbow demonstration. England was famed for its longbowmen in the Middle Ages. A war bow could shoot up to a quarter of a mile, but the bow that was used for our demonstration was a 6'7" hunting longbow with about half the draw weight of a war bow. Still, the bowman reckoned he could shoot an arrow clear over Warwick Castle with a full draw. Due to its difficulty to master, English law required children of all classes to train on the bow at least once a week from the age of 6. This constant training was required to build up the strength to draw a full-size battle longbow and also to gain an instinct as to how the arrow will fly. The bowman never aimed his bow, he just pointed and shot. And hit. I have a video of him shooting 4 arrows in pretty quick succession at a man-sized target about 200 feet distant, and hitting all 4 in the chest.

Nock! Draw! Loose!

I also wanted to catch the trebuchet demonstration, since I have never seen a trebuchet fire in real life. However, our dungeon passes were timed for 3 o’clock, which meant we stood in line for half an hour before we were admitted to the cheesy dungeon tour around 3:30. And by the time we emerged from the dungeons, it was 4:10. We hustled down to the demo, hoping we would not have missed it — it started at 4 — but by 4:15 it was all over. I’m a bit annoyed at that.

All told, I cannot recommend Warwick Castle. Their website makes it seem like a wonderfully entertaining experience, but it wasn’t, and it was expensive. Save the money for something else. You will get a lot more out of visiting other, better castles, which I have already written about.

Broadway Tower

If you're staying in Broadway, an interesting side trip.

Ever since I first visited Broadway 2 years ago, I have wanted to hike up to the top of the hill to Broadway Tower. But no-one in my family ever wanted to join me. This time around, I decided to go, alone if necessary. Which it was.

Sunday was an off day for us. In the morning I took my son to the excellent playground they have here in town, but in the afternoon, everyone else wanted to rest, so I took the opportunity to hike up the hill.

The 1000-foot climb begins with a warning to dogs:

Despite that, there were quite a number of hikers who had brought their dogs along, and not all of them were on a leash.

The hill was quite steep, but my military training from two decades ago kicked in, and I persevered. To stop and rest would have been the end, so I just put one foot in front of the other all the way up the hill. I am proud of the fact that I, a 45 year-old fat guy, overtook absolutely everyone I saw hiking up the hill.

Halfway up. Because I refused to stop on my way up, this picture was actually taken when I was halfway down going the other way.

By the time I got to the top, I was hot and sweating, but the cool Cotswolds breeze was such a pleasant reward. And the view from the top of the tower, which, it being a clear day, you could see clear into Wales 50 miles away.

Some of the history of the tower is on display. The tower was used as an observation post to spot and track enemy airplanes during World War II.  During the Cold War, it became a nuclear observation post to assist in case of nuclear war. I took a tour of the bunker they had there, which was very interesting, and also kind of chilling. It reminded me how serious the Cold War had been. It was reckoned that Soviet missiles could strike England within 4 minutes of launch being detected, so the bunker was equipped with telecommunications equipment to get the word out, and the staff of the bunker had a 4-minute drill to fire off the sirens and batten down the hatches, and then measure impact, radiation, and fallout. The bunker was in operation until 1991. Despite there being some 1500 bunkers in operation during the Cold War (you were never more the 10 miles from one), the one at Broadway Tower is one of the few that have been preserved for tourists.

There were 20,000 sirens throughout Britain during the Cold War to give people a 4-minute warning of nuclear attack. What could you do in 4 minutes? Well, for one, every 12 inches of brick you could put between yourself and the outside would reduce your radiation exposure by 50%.

The hike would have been miserable with my family, so I cannot recommend it as a family-friendly activity. Your kids would complain all the way up, and it would take about 5 times as long. On the other hand, it is an opportunity for you to get away from your kids. :-)

Caerphilly Castle

A good excuse to go to Wales.

Caerphilly Castle is one of the largest castles in Europe, the largest castle in Wales, and the second largest in all of Britain (after Dover Castle). Being just north of Cardiff, it isn’t too difficult to get to from England. From our base in the Cotswolds, it was under 2 hours. And the neat thing about going to Wales is your kids will get to see bilingual signs everywhere. I assume it’s the law or something, but you’ll get along fine knowing only English. My cousin has lived in Cardiff for over 20 years and still can’t speak a lick of Welsh.

Built in the 13th century, Caerphilly Castle is a splendid castle known for its double moat, which was considered one of the finest castle water defenses in all of Europe. The castle was built as part of the Anglo-Norman push to subjugate the Welsh, and it saw significant action throughout those campaigns. It is generally well-preserved, though one of the towers has a pretty severe lean to it. They don't let you in that one, but they have rather amusingly put a sculpture of a man holding it up.

Caerphilly Castle is managed by Cadw, but they give discounted admission to English Heritage members. There is no audio tour, but there are numerous display signs throughout the castle to explain much of it. I still prefer audio tours, as they tend to the tell the story better, but the signs work fine. You can climb to the top of several of the towers, which is always fun for the best views.

On the grounds outside the main inner gate are displayed several medieval siege weapons, including a ballista and a trebuchet.  My son loved getting to climb up on the ballista and pretend to fire it.

And also, dragons are a thing in Wales.  A red dragon appears on the Welsh flag:

A dragon emerges from the ground outside the main gate:

The dragon billows smoke from its nostrils.

And a red dragon poses at a break in the outer wall:

All said, Caerphilly Castle is an excellent example of a medieval castle, well worth the visit if you plan to make it into south Wales. It will be a pleasant day trip if you’re based in western England, and the town of Caerphilly is also pleasant enough. You should be able to find a good pub to eat lunch in at a reasonable price.

Cliveden House

 Family-friendly if you’re a millionaire.

On our way from Kent to Broadway, we got caught in traffic trying to get around London, so by mid-afternoon, we were looking for a place to stop and take a break. Cliveden House (pronounced klivden) is located about halfway between London and Oxford, so we decided to stop there and have a look around. It is a National Trust property, so admission and parking are free if you are a member. Cliveden House is an active hotel, but as a visitor, you park away from the main building and walk the rest of the way to the house. Fortunately, the walk is not unpleasant, and you pass a very attractive fountain on the way.

The Fountain of Love

When you arrive at the main building, they don't exactly welcome you in. You must find your own way around the building to get to the other side where the grounds are. Having made your way around, the grounds are pleasant, but your children will not appreciate it. There are lots of pretty estates and gardens in England, and this is also one.

After wandering the fields a while — we could use a good walk after several hours in the car — we finally decided to enter the hotel building. We were not welcomed, but we asked whether we could have a cup of tea and something to eat. Once we decided to spend money there, everyone was super nice to us. We were seated quickly and shown the menu, and after we ordered tea, we took a look around the room we were in. Absolutely beautiful, with John Singer Sargent’s finest work, a portrait of Nancy Astor on display. The tea was among the best I have ever had — better than the one we had had at the Goring Hotel 2 years earlier — so if you want to experience a traditional English afternoon tea, this is a better choice (better and cheaper) than the Goring.

This is what a £25 cup of tea looks like.

I exaggerate a little. You don’t just get a cup of tea for that price.  You also get a full selection of sandwiches, scones, and sweets. It is practically a full meal, so if you look at it that way, considering the décor and the service, it isn’t bad value for money.

Kids typically don't like gardens, and adults typically don’t like shelling out £25 for a cup of tea (and some sandwiches), so probably shouldn’t be tops on your list of places to visit while in England. However, if one of your goals is to experience a formal English afternoon tea, Cliveden House is an excellent place for that, I totally recommend it for that purpose. Take the afternoon and stroll the grounds and enjoy. Your children may get bored with the strolling, but they will enjoy the tea. Spoil yourself!

There is also a hedge maze you can promise your kids if they're good.

Bodiam Castle

“The popular ideal of a medieval castle.” — Charles Coulson

If you were asked to construct a castle, you would construct Bodiam Castle. It is the prototypical medieval castle: rectangular with round towers at the corners, moat, courtyard. Perhaps because this was just a minor castle, it did not turn into a sprawling defensive complex like many of its larger cousins. Although in ruins today, this beautiful castle is worth a visit if you're passing through East Sussex.

Built by Sir Edward Dalyngrigge in 1385 to defend the area from a French invasion during the Hundred Years War, Bodiam Castle was erected quickly and all in the same style, which accounts for its consistent design. No French invasion came during the Hundred Years War, but the castle did see action during the War of the Roses in 1483, and was slighted (as were many castles) during the English Civil War of the 17th century.  After that, it decayed into a picturesque ruin until restored in the 20th century.  In the 20th century, some defenses were erected surrounding the castle to defend the area from a feared German invasion (which, like the French invasion of 600 years earlier, never came).

Today it is worth visiting as a compact example of a medieval castle.  It is beautiful, you can climb all the way to the top, and small enough that it can be covered in its entirety within an hour or two.

The Battle of Hastings

An interesting place, but as much can be gained by staying at home and watching a documentary on the Battle of Hastings.

Pretty much what you'll be looking at when you visit: fields and sheep.

No battle has had a greater impact on the English-speaking peoples than the Battle of Hastings on October 14, 1066. The battle changed forever the nature of English, both the culture and the language.  England, which had previously been more of a Scandinavian country was to become more western European, with the Gallic influence of the conquering Normans. To celebrate his victory, William the Conqueror constructed an abbey at the site of this pivotal battle. We visited Battle Abbey and took the audio tour around the battlefield and abbey.

Battle Abbey is English Heritage, so admittance is free to English Heritage members. Parking is a nominal £1 for members. (£3.50 for non-members, but why would you visit England without joining English Heritage?) The audio tour is included in the price of admission (which is free for members), and we recommend audio tours with families, as it allows each member of the family to learn about the site and proceed at their own pace.

The tour takes you first through a museum which explores the circumstances and reasons for the invasion and lets you see and touch some of the weapons used by both sides. The English forces had defeated Norwegian forces at the Battle of Stamford Bridge just 3 weeks earlier — a battle that ended once and for all the Viking attacks that had harried England for the previous 300 years, and which would have today surely been considered one of the most important battles in English history were it not for the Battle of Hastings. What King Harold's forces did was remarkable, marching the entire length of England, 185 miles in 4 days, to defeat the invading Norwegians and kill their king, and they then turned around and force-marched back south to face William's invading Normans.

After the museum, you proceed to the battlefield and circle around below the hill where William had assembled his forces, and then back up the hill to the abbey, where the English forces defended. The fields are today used by grazing sheep, so you will find yourself dodging sheep dung throughout the walk. Still, you will learn much about how the battle proceeded on that fateful day.

More fields. The view up the hill from the Norman positions to the English.

When you return up the hill to the remains of the abbey (like all English abbeys, the abbey was destroyed by Henry VIII), you are pretty much left on your own, and while you can explore the ruins, no additional history is provided through the audio tour. It should also be noted that most of the property at the top of the hill is off-limits, as there is today an active school where the abbey once stood.

The remains of Battle Abbey.

The Battle of Hastings was no doubt of great importance, so visiting the battlefield seems like a good idea, but I am ambivalent about its suitability as a tourist attraction for families with children. I love history and therefore appreciate the site, but the visit is nothing spectacular; you are mainly walking around some fields dodging sheep dung and learning about the battle from the audio device. You would get as much by staying home and watching a documentary on the battle. The abbey was also fairly underwhelming, and there are much better specimens of ruined abbeys in England (Fountains Abbey is by far the best, but even Hailes Abbey, although almost completely destroyed, provides a better audio tour and a better education on life in a medieval monastery). I think a visit to Battle Abbey can probably be skipped by a family with limited time.